Becoming Illegal (From a Maryland resident to his senator)

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
Senate Office Building
309 Hart
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for
becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and
for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is
accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five
years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see
one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it
out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes
in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be
illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my
family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums
for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a
year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter
would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges
throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age
children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Pete McGlaughlin

Hundreds of Iraqi police poisoned, officials say
POSTED: 7:57 p.m. EDT, October 8, 2006

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BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) -- Hundreds of Iraqi policemen fell sick from poisoning Sunday at a base in southern Iraq after the evening meal breaking their daily Ramadan fast, and officials said they were investigating whether the poisoning was intentional.

An official with the Environment Ministry said 11 policemen had died. However, the governor of Wasit province -- where the poisoning took place -- denied any deaths, though he said some of the victims were in critical condition. There was no immediate explanation for the contradictory reports.

Some of the policemen began bleeding from the ears and nose after the meal, said Jassim al-Atwan, an inspector for the Environment Ministry, who was serving as a liaison in the investigation between the Health Ministry and the base, located in the town of Numaniyah.

"Hundreds of soldiers were poisoned after taking food and water in the iftar," Wasit Gov. Hamad al-Latif told the Associated Press, referring to the meal that breaks the sunrise-to-sunset fast during the Islamic holy month. "Investigations are under way to determine the cause."

Samples of the food and water were being tested "to determine the substance in them" and will be sent to Baghdad for further tests, al-Latif said.

Sunni insurgents who have targeted police and military forces with bombings and shootings have not been known to use poisoning as a weapon. But the suddenness and severity of the sickness raised speculation that the incident could be a new attack. The division is mainly made up of Shiites.

Between 600-700 policemen were affected to varying degrees, and 11 who had the heaviest amount of the food had died, al-Atwan told The Associated Press.

Some of the soldiers collapsed as soon as they stood up from the meal, others fell "one after the other" as they headed out to the yard in the base to line up in formation, al-Atwan said.

Iraqi ambulances and helicopters sent by the U.S. military rushed the policemen to hospitals in Numaniyah and the nearby city of Kut.

The afflicted policemen belonged to the 4th Division of the National Police, nicknamed the "Karrar" Division, after a title of Imam Ali, the most revered Shiite saint.

The division normally operates around the town of Salman Pak on the southeastern outskirts of Baghdad -- an area of intense Shiite-Sunni killings. The division was sent to the base in Numaniyah, 60 miles southeast of the capital, for further training.

Al-Latif said food and water at the base are provided by an Australian contractor working through Iraqi subcontractors. He did not identify the Australian firm.