I'm in to bestiality, sadomasochism, and necrophilia... but I guess I'm just beating a dead horse.

I have the heart and mind of a young child... and I keep both of them in jars on my desk.

Butterflies are like random thoughts people have.  They live, they die, they are utterly pointless.

"It is against company policy to sell human beings." -eBay

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife.  Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

I just neutered the cat.  Now he's French.

Patiently, she waits.  She looked serene standing there, anticipating what you had to say.  You remained quiet, thinking about the question she asked.  You had to get this right.  You cannot afford to make a mistake.  Then, she asks again, "What's it going to be, Patrick?"  You start to fidget.  You always fidget when you get pressured.  Finally, you mumbled, "Give me a short single mocha half and half."

All hail Bob, keeper of our sins, soapbox on the podium of our lunacy, collector of all things human, and a damned nice guy to boot.

Getting caught with a hand in the cookie jar is no reason to stop eating cookies.

There are three people on earth you should never lie to:  Your mother, your pastor, and your network administrator.

"Ah damn. I think I left my towel on the beach in Jutty's vagina." -OlDirtyBen

Espresso, Jack Daniels and Marlboros - because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Computer Sales - an industry created to give used car dealers a second career option.

We must upskill ourselves to allow us to leverage technology to achieve a competitive advantage and a synergy with other incentive-oriented departments.  Without that synergy, our company would not be able to shift to a new paradigm or leverage the low-hanging fruit of core competencies to drill down into our game plan and do the heavy lifting needed to become world class!

My computer beats me at Solitaire, but I beat my computer at kick boxing.

Power tends to corrupt, absolute power should be left in the hands of IT professionals.

Diplomacy is telling someone to go to Hell and making them look forward to the trip.

What do they call the person that graduates last in his class from medical school?  Doctor.

Microsoft Windows: A thirty-two bit extension and graphical shell to a sixteen bit patch to an eight bit operating system originally coded for a four bit microprocessor which was written by a two-bit company that can't stand one bit of competition.

"His eyes were cold. As cold as the bitter winter snow that was falling outside. Yes, cold and therefore difficult to chew..."  -Jack Handy

73 Ferengi Rule of Acquisition:  "If it gets you profit, sell your own mother."

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.  - Mark Twain  

In management's temperate, considered, intellectual opinion, Microsoft sucks and we hate them.

I like my women like I like my coffee... ground up and kept in the freezer.

I like my women like I like my coffee... I don't like coffee.

I like my women like I like my coffee... quiet.

I like my women like I like my coffee... ethically purchased from farming cooperatives in Latin America.

I like my women like I like my coffee... cold and bitter.

"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity."
-Sigmund Freud, "General Introduction to Psychoanalysis"

Give a man a campfire and you'll keep him warm for a day, start a man on fire and you'll keep him warm for life.

Quote:

We must upskill ourselves to allow us to leverage technology to achieve a competitive advantage and a synergy with other incentive-oriented departments.  Without that synergy, our company would not be able to shift to a new paradigm or leverage the low-hanging fruit of core competencies to drill down into our game plan and do the heavy lifting needed to become world class!

So much wisdom! You have much to teach us Wes' Mom.


Also, I lol'ed on this one:


Quote:

Give a man a campfire and you'll keep him warm for a day, start a man on fire and you'll keep him warm for life.

good one I found:
"Over Clocking is a lot like marriage, the outcome is always unpredictable but when your computer goes at least it doesn't take half your shit."

spanky wrote on Oct 29^th, 2007 at 4:07pm:

good one I found: "Over Clocking is a lot like marriage, the outcome is always unpredictable but when your computer goes at least it doesn't take half your shit."

That reminds me of this one:

Turning off the servers in your data center is like putting the old folks to bed in the nursing home.  When you turn the lights back on in the morning, not all of them are going to wake up.

-b0b
(...loves that one.)

If you were to second guess your decision to book some time at a Native American community, that would be a reservation reservation reservation.
~Brian Regan

(Just wanted to show off my new avatar really...it took a while to make...the pumpkin itself, I mean)

I just think it's hilarious that it made "play of the week."

-b0b
(...roffled out loud.)

wrong thread?

And that pumpkin is pretty awesome, is that cut all the way through our just a bit into the skin?

Yeah, oops.

-b0b
(...shrugs.)

It's through cut, though I must admit that I had to hit my head against the wall after I started cutting and realized that my original design didn't take into consideration attachment to the rest of the pumpkin and that my poor little music Jesus fish would not be able to float in air. Thanks to a few toothpicks though, I was able to salvage it. Thanks for asking. =)

(Back to homework.)